Tuesday, August 25, 2009


It occurs to me that part of admission and being honest with one's self includes some humbling, and today has absolutely been part of that experience. Let me set the scene. I'm an attorney who is a recovering anorexic, but I had to leave my job where I used my lawyering skills when the hospitalization for my food issues took longer than the agency I was working with could afford. Therefore, to pay the bills, I've taken a job at a fast food restaurant, and just got back from my second day of on-site orientation / OJE (on the job experience) as they hold out the promise of a management position with regular pay and steady hours. Yes, I'm humbled. My main supervisor, who just a few weeks ago forgot to call and tell me I'd been hired is a flamboyant 20 year old to my quiet, unconfident, recovering 43 years. He gives me my schedule on a handwritten paper because I'm a newbie, and they have to make sure I can make the cut before they commit me to the real schedule. The other manager with whom I work is quite knowledgeable, and just as confident in what she does -- and she does work hard -- but tends to speak to me as if I'm two when it comes to showing me how to do something, or in correcting me. The kids who work there ... and let me tell you, I have such a new respect for them ... are busting their tails to get orders out as fast and correct as possible to make sure the bosses are happy with the times and quotas, but they are all in their own little world of drama. Weird ... I go in, work my hours and work as hard as I can at what they tell me to do while I try to adjust to the new job and to this rebuilding period, but can't even figure out simple stuff (at least it's simple to those kids and managers around me)like in what kind of order they stash what I think I'm supposed to stock (though they've given no directions on how much, etc., etc., etc.,), or even where they've hidden the clock in the damned restaurant so I can tell when I'm supposed to clock in and clock out. And did I mention that I know no one's name except for the guy who hired me and am pretty sure only the manager knows mine, but he hasn't yet said two words to me beyond "want a break?" and "you're shift's up now ... you need to clock out." It's crazy, but I'm supposed to learn something from this, I suppose. I'm trying ... boy am I trying. And, by the way, would you like fries with that attempt???? :-) Going to bed now, and hoping for a smoother day tomorrow.

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